


Full Circle

by gooeyhuey



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Porn Video
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22484248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooeyhuey/pseuds/gooeyhuey
Summary: Chan discovers a video of Changbin on his phone that he doesn't remember recording.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Seo Changbin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 248





	Full Circle

It was just Chan and Changbin, the last two out drinking after the others had called it a night. Not without forcibly being escorted back to the studio by the others, where under the lack of supervision Chan broke out whiskey and Coke in what could only have been the world’s stupidest game of one upmanship. Whatever meager opportunities existed for pride to be wounded, the two rose to the challenge.

They got right shitfaced, the kind of blackout drunk that may as well have lived in an undisturbed reality, entirely separate from their own. That didn't change the fact that Chan woke up on the floor nearly naked from the waist down, jeans and boxers bunched down around his calves. When he looked over, Changbin was fully naked beside him.

He had a few precious minutes of plausible deniability, worrying first about his headache and nausea until sitting up and feeling something dry and irritating flaking against his stomach. He brushed a thumb over it, catching on what he invariably knew to be dried semen.

He sighed aloud, maybe a little too loud, as Changbin stirred with a groan. However, he shifted and laid his head in another position, still fast asleep. Good. Chan was not quite ready to address anything.

He dressed, cleaning himself off in the hall's small bathroom before returning to the studio where Changbin sat upright on the ground, hugging his knees. He was dressed from the waist down. His eyes were heavy-lidded, with no humor to be found in notably deepset laugh lines.

They met glances, and it was all they could do for a moment before Chan's assumed sense of responsibility kicked in. "We drank too much.” That was the best he could come up with, but given the circumstances, he was still pretty proud of himself. 

A beat and Changbin leaned forward, resting his head on his knees. "Yeah."

No use in delaying it any further. Chan would rip the band-aid off. "Do you remember anything?”

When Changbin shook his head ‘no’, Chan almost breathed a sigh of relief.

"I don’t either. Probably for the best.”

"Agreed." They both shared a solemn nod of promise, unspoken that it would be the last they heard of the issue. And like this, all was right with the universe. 

Except it wasn’t. For an entire week, Chan spent the nights agonizing. Certain things were fact. At one point, they’d removed their clothes. At another, Chan had ejaculated onto himself. These things were indisputable, but served precious little in completing the puzzle of that night.

At the same time, if they had done anything, neither of them remembered any of it. That was basically the same as it not having happened at all, right? But no matter how many times he said that to himself, he couldn’t get his mind to stop wandering to the possibilities. He couldn’t stop thinking about Changbin naked, and the variety of colorful positions possible with their respective states of undress.

It was, with horror, that he realized he could’ve even fucked Changbin for all he knew. Raw, at that. At the mere thought, his penis twitched and he cringed inwardly for getting turned on by it.

At any rate, sleep wasn’t coming and he was set on quieting the intrusive thoughts. He reached for his phone, scrolling through articles, memes, social media, anything to take his mind off of the hypothetical. Finally, he decided to wade through his camera roll for anything fun, only to find a thumbnail for a video he didn't remember recording set on the date of the very night he’d been losing sleep over.

The thumbnail was blurred, just lights caught in motion. Probably something he'd launched the camera for accidentally. He hovered over the delete button, but the video was a notable length at ten minutes. Just in case, he played it back. His stomach sank when the lighting adjusted and the image focused. It was Changbin, who was on his knees and already shirtless, pants pushed down to his thighs. Out of focus was Changbin’s cock bouncing up against his stomach. His face was only half in frame, but the bobbing motion was telltale. He had his audio muted. Wanting to hear the video with sound, he holed himself up in the bathroom and kept the volume low enough to not be heard in case anyone waited outside.

When he strained to listen, he heard mouth noises. Slurping and sucking, the sound of noisy swallowing. If Changbin pulled back far enough, he saw the bob of the adam’s apple. He recognized his own roughed voice, a “That’s so good,” that was breathed more than spoken.

The camera panned up, now giving Chan both a proper view and a heart attack. Clear as day, there was Changbin’s face, mouth fixed around a cock. Correction, fixed around Chan’s cock. It was sloppy and eager, Changbin’s eyes sweeping up and smiling when making eye contact with the lens of the camera. His arm came into frame rapidly and repeatedly. He was jerking himself off, Chan realized.

Terrifying. He paused every few seconds, thumb moving toward the trash icon every time he got overwhelmed, but he just couldn't bring himself to delete it. It didn't help that the desire to delete was getting weaker the harder he was getting.

He resolved that he wouldn't jerk off to it. That resolution lasted all of an astounding three minutes until the video ended and Chan restarted it from the beginning. He just couldn’t help himself, wound so tight he thought his dick would explode if anyone so much as breathed on it. He slid his boxers down.

Under the sink was a massive bottle of body lotion, and that was as good as anything in those circumstances. A generous pump went into his hand during the initial seconds of the video. He stretched his legs out on the toilet and took his cock in hand, eyes glued to his phone screen.

He timed his orgasm, waiting for the moment Changbin smiled with his cock in his mouth to cum. He’d groaned in frustration when he’d gotten a little of cum on his phone screen, scrambling to wipe it off with water and toilet paper. That got him thinking about how the cumshot didn’t get recorded, and a strange sense of disappointment settled for not having captured it.

Chan was like an addict. On the first day of discovering it he'd jacked off to it five times, the fifth load pitiful and painful. Even then, he managed to get half-hard a sixth time. Following that, a day hadn't gone by without him at least glancing at the video, skipping to his favorite parts. Sometimes he was bold enough to open it around the other members, sort of hoping one would look over his shoulder and see Changbin go at it. He hated that the thought made his cock stir, of getting caught, of having someone else see the video.

That thought lingered, and he really must’ve jacked himself off stupid after spilling what had to have been the twentieth load over the video. He was in the studio when he decided to email the video to himself, downloading it onto the computer to open it in After Effects. He didn't do much, didn’t know how. Muting the audio was easy, but he had to follow tutorials closely on how to blur out Changbin’s face with any proper sort of tracking.

In a bid of unprecedented stupidity, he uploaded the edit online. To Pornhub, at least, where he'd written all the tags in English. Certainly, everything was nondescript enough that it couldn't have been an issue. At least, Chan told himself it was.

The views came pouring in in hours, mostly complaints about the blurring, but also compliments on Chan's cock serving as a nice ego boost as a counter. It reaffirmed he made the right move uploading the video online. It brought him a perverse sort of sexual satisfaction to have thousands of people watching Changbin suck his cock. This, he thought, was the closure he needed.

Time had passed, the video having gone more or less forgotten save for occasional rewatches. Chan had entered the living room one afternoon, noticing Seungmin, Felix and Jisung crowded on the couch around Hyunjin’s phone, the four spouting theories that included the phrase, “that’s definitely one of the studios”, making Chan’s hair stand on the back of his neck.

"Hyung, come here." Hyunjin waved Chan over. "This is one of the studios, right?" Hyunjin turned his phone and Chan's mouth went dry at the familiar sight.

"It’s gotta be some dumb rookies,” Jisung said, wrinkling his nose. “Remind me to bring in some disinfectant wipes the next time we have a session.”

In the mother of all cosmic jokes, Changbin had stepped into the living area and was also waved over. There was no reasonable way for Chan to try to prevent this from happening without making himself look suspicious. So he stood frozen, and only watched with a grimace as Changbin was shown the video. He was quick to wear a matching grimace of his own after his eyebrows raised, signalling his recognition. He cast a none-too-kind sidelong glance at Chan.

Chan knew he was fucked. He backed out, back to his room where he tried ignoring the insistent buzzing in his pocket. After the sixth one, he broke and checked his phone to see multiple texts firmly asking to meet in the studio to talk. He couldn't put it off. Not with Changbin knowing. 

When he'd arrived, Changbin was already seated at the main console, the video pulled up on one of the monitors. "Nice of you to join me." The greeting was every bit of passive aggressive as Chan deserved. He gestured toward the monitor. "You mind telling me what this is?"

Chan's first instinct was to deny it, but Changbin had his sleeves rolled up and even if he was strong, he really didn't want to test which one of them was stronger. He took a tentative step back just to be out of any striking distance. "Look, what I did was really stupid and-"

"It was idiotic of you. What were you fucking thinking? Were you thinking?" 

Even then, Chan wasn't really thinking. Not anything of use in that situation. Instead, he was caught up in the striking surrealism of holding a heated conversation over homebrew pornography.

Apparently he'd taken too long trying to form a suitable answer, because Changbin's thumb came up and pressed down right on the panel. "Can you at least tell me why you uploaded it?"

At that moment, Chan would've preferred getting yelled at. He gathered all suitable lies within reach, every conceivable one more worthless than the last. At the end of the day, he kept a video of Changbin sucking cock and uploaded it online. There was nothing he could come up with, not if he wanted to mitigate.

So he put two hands up, a barrier between him and Changbin. "Please, just- you don’t get it."

Changbin was speechless, nearly an accomplishment in its own right. Not one Chan could enjoy at the time, however.

"Do you still have the original video?" asked with the edge-softened anger that could only come from hesitance.

Chan swallowed. “Switch our accounts.” When Changbin logged out of his account, he rolled the chair back, giving Chan space to hover over the keyboard and type in his password, taking control of the mouse and navigating to where he’d deeply hidden the original video within one of the folders. He kept an eye out for Changbin in his periphery, just in case things escalated, but Changbin showed a remarkable and unsettling calm.

He launched the video and watched as Changbin watched. He expected and hoped that Changbin would stop it at one point, but he sat silently while taking the whole thing in full. By then, Chan had the thing memorized by audio cues alone, able to distinguish one slurping noise from another. Yet having Changbin watch his own performance caused a pleasurable sense of thrill shoot straight to his groin.

Changbin looked annoyed, but kept his expression even and studious. When the video ended and restarted its loop, he paused it. He took a breath, elbows on the table, face buried in his hands.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” He didn't look at Chan as he spoke. While his face was mostly concealed, Chan could make out reddened ears.

“What was I supposed to do? Just show you it?”

"You uploaded it online."

"Changbin, I just wasn't thinking straight."

Changbin raised his head, eyes snapping to Chan. "You took the time to edit it. You had weeks with this video. Don’t bullshit me."

What was less damning? Chan struggled to come up with a satisfying lie, but the truth was equally unacceptable.

"Chan," like a plead.

At being pressed, the panic took over and truth spilled from his mouth above a whisper. "It turned me on like crazy."

Changbin regarded him looking gobsmacked. Still angry, but the expression was suspended mostly in disbelief.

"I thought having other people watch you...the video turned me on and knowing other people can get turned on by it-"

"Are you hearing yourself?" Changbin interrupted, and Chan had never felt more grateful to have been. “That's what you put us in jeopardy for?"

"It's stupid," Chan agreed immediately. "It's the stupidest thing I've ever done."

"I don't even know what to say.” Changbin threw his hands up, sitting back in the swivel chair, where he minimized the video.

"Changbin, I’m-”

“You’re what? Sorry? Is that what you’re going to tell me? I'm going back to the dorm." He stood abruptly, and Chan stepped out of the way as if bracing to be hit, but Changbin walked right past him, stopping at the doorway. "I'm going to think long and hard about how you're going to make it up to me before I hit you."

Chan let him leave, sat in the newly occupied chair. He played at deleting the video online, but once again found he couldn’t commit to the idea. Instead, he opened the other window with the original video, watching through again. He wondered what would have happened if he’d done the right thing and showed Changbin privately. What would the reaction have been if it wasn’t colored negatively? He cursed at himself for not doing things that way to begin with.

It took a week for judgment day to come, as Chan had taken to calling it. Changbin avoided him in the interim, though around the others they still pretended to get along as to not raise any eyebrows.

It was during a shoot. That day shooting had gone ahead of schedule, leaving an hour of break before the night shooting. Some had plans to go out for dinner, others for a nap. Chan had his jacket in hand, ready to join the crew going to eat.

“Chan.”

At being called by Changbin, his stomach flipped. He looked up, trying to maintain calm. “Hm?”

“Stay behind for a minute. I’ll let you go after we talk.”

“Okay.” He nodded, a strained smile to not put off the others that lingered a bit longer.

When the last of the others were out of earshot, Changbin started. "I've given it thought." It was the kind of useless preface suited to these situations. Anything to diffuse an atmosphere that was notably awkward. "When we get back, you're going to suck me off."

That wasn't what he had expected at all. He hadn't even anticipated that, despite the nature of their fallout. He was so unprepared that it made him feel nervous, down to a tremor in his fingertips at the thought. He was given room, the silence to process those words. In playing them back in his head a second and third time, he also felt an eager stir in his loins. A small voice in the back of his mind insisted this was not just a good thing, but a great thing.

“In the studio?” Chan asked when he found his voice.

“In the studio.”

He nodded, finding it difficult to look Changbin in the eye in that moment. “Okay.”

“In the meantime, let’s eat.”

They’d still gone out separately. Chan first, Changbin some minutes after, ending up in the same restaurant as the others. While chewing on a piece of beef, he couldn’t stop thinking about the cock he’d seen in video going in his mouth. He felt himself start to get hard beneath the table and willed it down by trying to involve himself in conversation about Minho’s cats. Even then, he felt more like a spectator than a participant every time his eyes strayed and he caught Changbin staring at him.

At least he could get lost in shooting, the workload keeping his mind off of it before the night had also wrapped up earlier than expected.

Changbin and Chan were driven in separate vans, thankfully, though on the ride back Felix had placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You alright, mate? Looks like you’ve got something on your mind.”

“Food didn’t sit right with me,” Chan said.

Felix squeezed his shoulder. “Feel better. Hopefully you get some rest.”

Chan offered a strained smile. “Thanks. I’ve got some stuff I need to wrap up, but I will.”

When both vans arrived, Jisung and Changbin could be overheard as they were stepping out.

“If you guys are brainstorming-”

“We’re not brainstorming. It’s an old track, we’re just seeing what we can do with it.”

“I’m just saying that a fresh set of ears could-”

“Jisung,” Changbin sounded short with him, approaching where Chan waited. “We’ll definitely need the help next time, but this was the sort of thing we were hoping to work out, just the two of us. Right, Chan?”

“Right.”

Jisung deflated a bit on hearing Chan’s insistence. “Alright. Just don’t want to miss out too much.”

At that, Changbin laughed. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

“It’s a really old track,” Chan chimed in to help his case.

With Jisung placated, the group headed back into the dorms.

“I already let the managers know,” Changbin said, starting to walk and indicating Chan to follow. “That we’re going to the studio, I mean.”

“I figured. I didn’t think you were going to tell them what we’re actually getting up to.”

“Could you imagine?” It was the first time both of them had shared a laugh in a while. “Are you nervous?”

“I’m not.” Chan was, not that it did anything for the arousal.

“I don’t believe you. I’m nervous and I’m not even,” Changbin hesitated. “You know.”

Following a stretch of silence, he felt Changbin’s eyes on him. When Chan met them, Changbin started up again. “You don’t actually have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“I want to.”

Changbin looked surprised by this and Chan caught the small smile.

When they arrived, Changbin removed his jacket. He sat down and Chan noted it was with spread legs. It was how he always sat, but suddenly it was notable.

“This was probably easier when we were drunk,” Changbin said. 

Chan laughed. "I wish I knew how we got to that point." He still hovered by the doorway as he removed his own jacket, the door closed behind him. He stepped in a little closer to lean on the console.

"I always thought about it," Changbin admitted. "And one thing probably led to another."

Chan's brows shot way up.

"But I was, and still am, mad you didn't tell me."

"I should've. I really should've."

"The only thing that made me not hit you was that you said it turned you on. To be honest, I knew how I wanted you to make up for it right then and there, but I had to work up the nerve.”

Chan seized the opportunity for levity. “Seeing as I want the same thing, would you have asked sooner if you knew?”

"Oh, hell yeah." When Changbin's hand lowered to his belt, Chan's eyes followed. "Shall we?"

Chan swallowed then, his mouth felt dry. "Yeah."

Changbin took his belt off, slow and fumbling, an onset difficulty that hadn’t existed previously. He noticed his fingers shook, but the belt came off. There was less to fumble with on the jeans and boxers, worked off only down to the knees, exposing his soft cock. He pumped it for half a minute, pointedly avoiding eye contact with Chan as it became more and more apparent he was struggling to get hard.

"I'm nervous," Changbin admitted.

It was a small kind of helplessness, still a kind that spoke to Chan's sense of responsibility. "I can try." Chan knelt between his legs and Changbin relinquished his grip, letting Chan take over.

He jerked Changbin off steadily, a cock in hand familiar, but it not being his own messed with him. It felt hot, hotter than his own.

Changbin was never quiet, always the type to whimper. The brief periods they shared rooms at hotels, Changbin could be heard grunting even in the shower when he was jerking off. It was no different, but the sounds now turned him on. It wasn’t just the sounds. The way Changbin rolled his head, his lidded stare, his gaped mouth with small spikes of his chest in sharp intakes.

Changbin was responding in hand, growing firm under his touch. Filling out to what he'd seen in the video, only much more clearly. It looked even better in person. Chan was unrepentantly hard. He palmed himself over his sweats and while he was preoccupied with touching himself, he stuck out his tongue, mindful of the taste. Mild sweat, somewhat soapy. Chan wondered if he'd washed himself in the bathroom sink while they were still in shooting.

He tasted what he thought was precum, different from skin and sweat and soap. Kind of good, in its own way. He passed a tongue along the slit and Changbin groaned low. He looked up to see Changbin was watching him openly. Chan squeezed himself more deliberately.

Out of his periphery, he noticed Changbin’s hand hovering over his phone, dipping down, playing at picking it up, but then lifting the hand off together repeatedly. Chan stopped touching himself for a moment to guide Changbin’s hand to it, closing his fingers around it. When Changbin hesitated, he pulled his mouth off and smiled. “Do it.”

Changbin held up the phone, the little recording chime sounding. It must’ve been the mirror of the previous video, Chan thought, with Chan jerking himself off furiously while being recorded sucking Changbin’s cock. They’d gone full circle.

He always thought he would've hated watching himself having any kind of sex, but he wanted to see the video. Wanted to know what he looked like from Changbin's perspective. For more to look at, he fished his cock out and made showy, exaggerated strokes for the camera.

"You look amazing like this," Changbin said through bated breath. "God, I'm close."

This time, they got the cumshot on camera. Chan wasn't quite ready to take it in his mouth, keeping on a moment longer until Changbin's breathing was telltale, switching immediately to his hand, jerking the head off and getting the brunt of the spray on his arms, his hand. Another man's semen remarkably hot on his skin.

Changbin was a champ with the camera, still holding on mostly steady, leaning in to get a closeup of Chan jerking himself off. Closer now, he was in reach, Changbin offering a hand that cover Chan’s and joined in stroking him. Just like that, he came all over Changbin’s hand.

Changbin ended the recording and passed tissues between themselves. They cleaned themselves up and took turns going to the bathroom to wash up properly.

Post orgasm, both settled and dressed back in the studio, things were stifled still by awkwardness.

Chan sought to relieve themselves of it. "That was fun."

"It was."

Chan gestured to the phone, which was placed face down on the console. "How'd it come out?"

"You wanna see it?"

"Yeah."

Changbin reached for his phone and pulled the video up, Chan pulling up close in the other swivel chair to watch it back together.

What he saw was his own face, his own blissed looks and strokes, heard his own mouth noises, just as sloppy as Changbin’s had been. He wondered if he was the littlest bit narcissistic for feeling an eager twitch while watching himself. "Weird seeing myself."

Changbin snorted. "Tell me about it."

It was after the final shot of Chan cumming all over Changbin’s hand that he spoke again. "We should upload this one, too."

Changbin looked at him. "You're crazy." Chan thought that was a rejection, but then Changbin broke out into a grin and turned the computer on. "Show me how you edited it. We'll do it the same way." 

Time had passed yet again, with Chan spotting Hyunjin on the couch, smiling at his phone alone.

In light spirits, Chan sat beside him on the couch and threw an arm around Hyunjin's shoulder. “What’s so funny?”

Hyunjin raised his brows, tipped his phone toward Chan to show another familiar scene, this time the newer of the two videos. "I bought you that shirt,” said in near singsong, Hyunjin over the moon in amusement.

Chan’s face had fallen and Hyunjin laughed to diffuse it, patting the hand Chan hand placed on shoulder. “I won't tell the others, but I will ask a favor. Ask Changbin if I can join in on the next one?"

Chan raised his brows. Not relieved, still feeling adrenaline’s weight in his stomach, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling if he tried. "I'll see what I can do."

**Author's Note:**

> the original concept for this was a changbin hotwife idea, believe it or not. maybe next time


End file.
